Eight signs your perfectionism is out of control

We live in a world that loves perfectionism. From an early age, parents, coaches and teachers make us achieve high results, but they do not teach us balance. We have an ingrained desire in our lives to do our best to pursue lofty goals, but we don't know when to back down. We don't know when "enough" means "enough."

Most people are committed to perfectionism - praising it as a virtue to the point of becoming a fault. This behavior is worrying because separate studies from the University of British Columbia and the University of Tehran have shown that perfectionism is associated with depression, anxiety and a variety of mental health problems. Depressive episode occurs relatively often and can manifest itself in the following ways:

• feeling sad, hopeless or helpless;
• changes in appetite;
• irritability and frustration;
• trouble concentrating or remembering;
• anxiety;
• low energy level.

To overcome perfectionism, you must learn to see when it is holding you back. This task is difficult because perfectionist tendencies like to hide under the guise of hard work and enthusiasm. The best solution is to change your mindset from perfectionist to optimist. Optimists are just as hard at striving for success, but they are more flexible, resilient, and adaptive in their pursuit of goals.

Changing your approach from perfectionism to optimism will definitely make you happier and more productive. However, it's worth knowing when something starts to happen, so in this article we will point out 8 signs that may indicate that your perfectionism is out of control. Enjoy reading!

1. You realize your perfectionism is the problem, but you think that's what it takes to be successful

Sometimes you really have to try hard to be successful. When perfectionism gets out of hand, it's easy to use hard work as an excuse for the unnecessary pain and suffering you endure. Make no mistake - perfectionism is a source of unnecessary struggle and conflict. When you master your perfectionism, you will be able to work less and achieve more.

2. You become defensive when you receive feedback

Perfectionists care a lot about what others think of them, and this can make it difficult to receive feedback. Even well presented, useful feedback is like a needle stuck in an eye. You probably find yourself behaving defensively before even realizing that you disagree with the feedback. It is a reflex reaction. As a perfectionist, you naturally want to be successful. Take comfort in the fact that feedback (even brutal) ultimately helps you improve your work. Take it calmly and it will help you come closer to perfection.

3. You criticize others

Given their inability to accept criticism, perfectionists can certainly give it away. Perfectionists can't help but compare themselves to other people, so they feel good when they discredit someone, especially if that person is a threat to them. Although this is not always the reason. Perfectionists are critical of others also because they compare them to the same unattainable standard to which they compare themselves.

4. You keep postponing something

Perfectionism and fear of failure go hand in hand. This combination leads to procrastination because even mundane tasks are terrifying when they have to be performed perfectly. Most writers spend countless hours brainstorming characters and plot, and even write page after page, even if they know it will never be in the book. They do this because they know ideas take time to develop.

We tend to freeze when it's time to start working because we know our ideas aren't perfect and what we create may not be good. But how can you create something great if we don't act and give our ideas time to develop? Author Jodi Picoult perfectly summed up the importance of avoiding perfectionism: "You can edit the wrong page, but you cannot edit the blank page."

5. You feel guilty

Perfectionists have a constant stream of guilt thoughts in their heads because they always feel like something is going wrong. Guilt increases stress, and it can easily turn into depression and anxiety. Guilt is fueled by your own thoughts. The more you reflect on negative thoughts, the more power you have over them.

Most of our negative thoughts are just thoughts, not facts. Once you've found that you believe the negative and pessimistic things your inner voice is saying, it's time to stop and write them down. Literally stop doing what you are doing and write down what you think. When you take a moment to slow down the negative rush of your thoughts, you will be able to judge their truthfulness more rationally and soberly.

6. You take mistakes too personally

Perfectionists take their work so seriously that they tend to overestimate the effects of their mistakes. Minor events can make them bitterly disappointed. This problem is significant because it reduces resilience, and being able to react to failure is critical to success. Perfectionists have to learn that failure is not a confirmation that they are not good enough.

The best example would be playing in the casino - imagine that you have just created your account on a gambling site. You deposited a certain amount of money, collected your free bonus, and started playing slots. Basically everyone is aware that the chances of winning money at the casino are minimal, especially with slots. You cannot blame yourself if a certain round did not go your way, because it is a game of chance in which no one can predict the outcome.

In such a situation, you just have to realize that this is not your fault and that there is nothing you can do about it. Let things function the way they were created and don't take it personally.

When you play at the casino, you only have an influence on how much money you invest and what games you play. It is recommended that you choose the titles that offer the best chance of winning prizes. Below in the table you will find a few of them:

7. You take pleasure in other people's failures

This little-known perfectionist secret is not as bad as it seems. Misfortunes like company, and perfectionists cannot help but be satisfied knowing that other people experience the same frustrations as they do. These moments of relief are short-lived and make perfectionists feel bad about being so competitive.

8. You live in fear of rejection

Perfectionists need the approval of others to feel themselves winners. This mentality leads to a paralyzing fear of rejection. Perfectionists fear things like asking for a raise or pursuing their passions, instead of something that will win the approval of others.

Living in fear of rejection is a terrible feeling, it stifles creativity and slows down personality development. Whenever you find that you are overly concerned about what others think of you, remember Dr. Seuss on authenticity: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who bother it don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Does perfectionism have advantages?

The answer to the question in the headline seems ironic. Perfectionism has many advantages, and the ability to use them is very important as it helps with overall development in both private and professional activities. Below are some advantages of perfectionists.

• Increasing Motivation - Overall, perfectionism can help increase your overall level of motivation. If you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve each day, and in the long term, you will have a lot of motivation to get up in the morning and work as hard as possible. Motivation is crucial to achieving our goals in life, and perfectionism can definitely help you stay motivated and get through difficult times.
• Are you willing to work long - Another advantage of perfectionism is that perfectionists are often willing to work very long because they want to achieve the best possible results. In fact, while the average employee leaves the office on time, a perfectionist often does extra work. In turn, performance may be better and the chances of promotion may be higher for perfectionists.
• Perfectionists pay attention to detail - While the average person doesn't pay too much attention to small details, a perfectionist can usually pay attention to them. In fact, perfectionists often find and fix even quite small mistakes. On the other hand, the overall quality of perfectionists' work is often quite good, and having such a person on the team can also improve the quality of the work of the entire team.
• High requirements - Perfectionists often have quite high expectations. This may mean that you have great goals in life that you pursue as best you can. It can also mean that you only invite friends into your life who are also quite ambitious. In fact, who you spend time with plays a key role and you should surround yourself with people who also have great goals in life.

Application

To overcome perfectionism, you have to be the most authentic version of yourself that you can be. It means striving for the things you love, trusting that your hard work will pay off, learning from your mistakes, and enjoying yourself. Everything in life should be balanced, otherwise there may be feedback that will start to spoil other areas of your activity as a human being.

We hope you found this article valuable and you will learn some lessons from it.